Big Boss 700-watt Big-Mouth Juicer

It’s got that stainless steel finish that’ll make you think: “That is a kitchen appliance constructed after 2003.”
Dishwasher safe, it says, but that has to mean part of it is dishwasher safe, right?
MOST IMPORTANTLY: has a very wide opening. I mean, we’re talking a BIG MOUTH. Even bigger than Larry’s! Oh, Larry… I didn’t see you there… this is… uh… well, how are the kids?
Model: 8123 (also the number of confirmed kills it has in the war against carrots.